I am back. Yes, I know, it has been a VERY long time since I have done this whole blogging thing, but I do believe it is time for me to return.

I have recently received NUMEROUS comments to approve from lovely people such as yourself.  They are on old posts where people thanked me for the information I provided on many different subjects. So… random posts shall follow in the future so as to pinpoint where my expertise really lies.  Perhaps it is in the random! If I can help a single person with something I write, the blog is a success.

Additionally I will begin work this week on my other site- College Cookbook. I’ll keep you all apprised as to how that goes and I look forward to reading feedback from you!

God bless!

Excuse me Madame, if you please.
Your shirt is quite showy, your pants quite flowy,
and you’ve got your sexuality on your sleeve.

I know you may desire to show it but I’d much prefer I did not know it-

So if you could and you would just stow it

away

so I don’t feel ashamed

One compliment in two months.
He sat there as I said I love him and he told me “I know.”
And you let me date him, for over a year.
You watched me shave my head and cry,
For two years you watched me suffer and why?
Where were you?
Here you are standing in front of me-
And you say you love me?
How dare you.

Where were you,
When I cried myself to sleep
Got back on my feet
Fell hard over and over
And couldn’t even keep
My dreams going?
Where were you when I sat alone and hoped that I would die?
Just so I wouldn’t have to finish it myself?
Where were you?

As you pull me close
With your two parents and your brother
And your home
And your flawless clothes
And your success and joy
Your perfect eyes holding mine

Did you know that I spent 18 years (that I can remember)
Living alone
That I held on for something
Making my way in the hopes that someday
I’d find myself
Wrapped by two arms that loved me so…
But where were you before?

I looked up to that empty cold night sky
And prayed upon the starlight, starbright
That the first star I could see tonight…

You know- I wished I may
I wished I might
And I just want to know where you were when the fight
Came down in my world.

Where were you?
I lived in a personal hell
Trapped in that fucking shell
And my cheeks were chapped from the tears that fell
And you were not there.
And you dare,
To tell me you love me.
Well I love you too.

I should have been more worried about the turnout of the party than my apartment. People were apathetic towards drinking games and I didn’t know how else to entertain them. Epic fail.

So it’s Saturday and I am running on very little sleep. As of last night I was running a fever and feeling very run down. 

I planned to be in bed by 12:00 am (midnight) but instead I played rockband with a couple of friends then proceeded to have a very serious and heartbreaking conversation with one of them.  It led to a very difficult decision on my part that I still can’t decide how I feel about it but know that he definitely did not like the outcome.  ::big sigh::  We live, we learn, we buy huggies.

Whoa, was that a 1990’s slogan for diapers?  Geez I’m tired.

I have a bunch of friends coming over tonight and I’m stressed.  My apartment = me.    I still have political campaign signs hung up (only the best ones!).  And now have my X-Files posters up.  Uggh.  What will they think??  It’s weird that I feel more insecure about that than the actual turn out of this party.

After a watching episode one of the new show starring none other than the gorgeous Portia de Rossi I can safely say that we were all better off prior to the premiere of the show. Characters are hollow, plot-lines are shallow, and the shows budget is evident in every scene. Why couldn’t they have just maintained good shows that weren’t overacted? Hell, I’ll settle for those that were deviously over-acted but that were enjoyable like Pushing Daisies or Carpoolers!

You are
My Pomegranate and…
I’ve known Hell
I’ve seen the devil at my door
I have been
Stripped of everything
And more
I’ve been physically used
Psychologically abused
And guilty of everything accused

And I have laid there
Me exposed like a whore
Stripped of everything
And more

I’ve watched flames burn my house
My world get dominated by a mouse

I’ve watched horses die,
I’ve seen you cry
And I’ve traveled too many miles without help

I have knelt before God and said into the phone
Why I should hold on?
But the line went dead before God gave an answer
So I stood there hearing that dial tone
Then put the phone back in its cradle
And went back home

There’s no point in doing something that makes you unhappy
But with that perspective I have to ask-
Why did I continue to push past?
Why am I still alive?
When everyday was worse than the last?

Pomegranate
I’ve seen the Devil
I’ve known Hell
So call me Persephone

Persephone it seems is now
Stripped of everything
And more

But call me Persephone, from those perfect lips
A symphonic melody beckoning me

Just call me Persephone
Because you are the fruit of my dreams
My everything, it seems
And more.

And I would spend the rest of my life back in that cold Hades winter
Just to devour every morsel of every moment, with you
Because I can’t get enough
And you are everything I’ve been waiting for
And more

They say in
The Garden of Eden
That knowledge came from an apple
But with worm filled disgrace
I knew then that I would be stripped of everything
Naked, alone,
And more.

But Pomegranate
Call me Persephone
Just this one time alone

Your bloody love
Soaking deep in
Stained from your juicy lips I kissed
Guilty red hands from nectar stained fingertips
Because I’ve danced and swayed with you and these hips

Call me Persephone
Then, my precious produce,
My pomegranate delight
Please
Stain me
Please hold me tight
And leave a permanent mark of the time
You stripped me of everything
And taught me to make love
And be loved
And more.

Apparently my reintroduction and apology for my extraordinarily long hiatus was ALSO erased during my little spat with the lappy. I’m back and though I thought I could escape drama and otherwise by moving on to another blog I have found that my heart lives here. I will most likely face ridicule from my ‘enemies’ and/or an ex-boyfriend or two, but we shall prevail. hopefully.

I hope all is well for you!

I erased two lesser phil episodes in an accidental miscommunication between me and my computer. UGGH. Let me repeat for you- grrrrrr

I don’t know how to rectify the emotion that I had in those two entries. I suppose I shall have to go on without them.

Ok, looks like it was actually only one entry but it was the one that explained why I was so angry with Lesser Phil.  In short- He ate all of Chas’ food and let my cat out while I was 9 hours away and then didn’t tell anyone that our beloved pet was missing.  WHAT???  Who does that.

Anyway- I’ll try and track down episode 8 but I’ll put out 9 in the next couple of days.

I’m five poems in and I have no idea what to write.

Everything seems so prose in essence making this also a potential cross-dresser poem

These literary texts now wolves in poetic sheep’s clothing with

Full sentences and rhymes and rhythms that seem to lack…

Rhyme or reason.

All of it because I want to sum it all up-

The struggles you and I have already had,

the promise we have,

the feelings I know now,

the person I’m becoming,

that smile you get when you are so excited,

or our Pokemon themed, honesty founded, midnight-rendezvous-to-care-for-our-mutual-friend filled, tightly bound, emotionally held, adventurous, dangerous, and, ultimately, beautiful thing that we have going on.

So here I am,

five poems in.

But transvestite prose now becomes more as I realize

That all of this will pass

And maybe I shouldn’t write a poem at all

and go blow bubbles instead.