As if to answer, he kissed me again, missing the mark and clumsily handling my body. “Do I seem like one?” he purred. His statement was clearly indicative of a “no,” but his body said “yes.” I withdrew.

I have nothing against virgins, or sleeping with them, I just like to know what I’m getting myself into.  With him it was a wildcard.  Was he lying? Did I care? I decided I was too buzzed to find out or handle the repercussions. Particularly if he got all emotional or attached.

On the elevator on the way down I didn’t pause in the safe and secure lobby that would have allowed me to sober up on some overly modern furniture. It looked stiff and I wanted fresh air, but as soon as the musky 3 am July heat hit my face I reached back for the already locked and closed door.

I couldn’t have him buzz me back in, I had shut him down.  I couldn’t stand alone in the darkening and isolated street.  I moved briskly. I should’ve had him walk me out, now I was in trouble.

Three blocks up was my car, parked foolishly to the side with no appreciation for where the streetlights would have kept it lit. When I parked it there I didn’t think I would be staying long. Nor did I think I would wander away from it with a man I barely knew.  I got nearer to my car and realized my dire situation.  Stay in the dark, in a locked car, and sober up or more dangerously drive my car to a safer location.

Day three of a city I once knew, and nothing had changed.  Perhaps I had not changed.  I jangled the keys in my hand and eyed the area around me. Nothing was awake in this sleepy town and I wanted to join in the slumber.

“Damn it all!” I cursed under my breath. The noise startled me as my voice echoed back in the air. I strode back the way I’d come, towards a diner only 10 blocks away that had the possibility of still being open.  If I survived my solo expedition in the night, I promised to be wiser about my choices. It was unlikely though, given my history of drunken promises that this night’s would be kept.

I just needed sunrise now, to help bring sobriety and levity to my life.  Even the best choices can become the worst, dependent on the road leading to them. I let my heels click each dastardly step. I let my foolishness lead the way.

“Welcome back,” I muttered.

I hope this finds you well and I will most certainly be getting back at you soon!

Now that you’ve moved on, I have a few things to get off my chest-

You breathed too loudly, you licked too often, and you would idiotically trap yourself in rooms and then try to dig out, effectively ripping up the carpet that I had to fix/replace.  You had to be on anti-depressants for over a year because you chewed at yourself nervously… your name sake is not an excuse!  You refused to go for a jog but never had trouble running down an animal you wanted to dismember.  You would attempt to protect me from all men without any idea who it was, to include our other roommates.  Even if there had been an intruder you would have quickly hidden in my room, so why bark at all? You shed everywhere, were a picky eater, and let’s not even discuss the time you almost killed us both by running upstairs while the house was on fire, forcing me to blindly run through smoke to save your ass.   Honestly, you’ve cost me hundreds in pet deposits, grooming and vaccines I will never see again…

…and I am thankful for every moment, every dime, and every single  one of your damn loud panting breaths.

I will miss you more than you could ever know and I’m so sorry that I was not able to keep you running after 14 years.  You were the best-friend a girl could ever ask for and I will ache each time I look into the loving brown eyes of any another animal.

I never stopped and never will stop loving you.  I’m sorry I had to let you go and I’m even more sorry you had to feel pain for one more second than necessary because I was unwilling to say goodbye fast enough.  I hope that every child gets the chance to know a friendship like yours and mine and knows the pain of losing that bond, if only to force them appreciate the time they had all the more.    You will always be the scrambled egg eating, face-licking, and owner obsessed champion of my heart.  No one forgets their first dog, and Chewie, you have set the bar in a way no dog could top.  You were a trooper, a whiner, and a pain in my ass, but I’m afraid I will miss those aspects about you most of all.

Enjoy the eternal rest and I’ll see you in heaven, where we will once more scamper about in the grass and let the sun kiss our faces.  I toast to you Chew, the best dog I’ve ever known.

Oh, and Chewie, one more thing- Keep the Millennium Falcon running, I’ll be there in less than it takes to complete the Kessel Run.

Forever Yours,

Han

THANK YOU READERS!

Who are my ever so loyal viewers? Are we spam bots or real? Post a response and tell me about you.

Regardless, I have something interesting for you that was sent to me by a fellow New Mexican, Will (@wreichard2 on Twitter).

You should take a look at the statistics that ‘ReadWriteWeb’ found on how blogging has changed in the last three years.  I recommend you check the article out whether you are just beginning to blog or have been blogging for years. Either way the changes may/should affect how you blog to best reach your audience.

The most interesting part of this article, for me, was the final point:

Perhaps most significantly, blog posts now have a longer life span. In 2007 tracked posts saw 94% of engagement within the first day and 98% of that first day’s engagement happened within the first hour. In 2008 that number fell to 83% within the first day and in 2009 it was a mere 64%. Thus Postrank concludes that 36% of reader engagement in the top blogs happens after 1 day. “While the real-time web is all about lowering the latency,” Grigorik says, “the pervasive nature and number of people engaged in their communities and conversations (the Social Web) is helping with information discovery. People are worried that the real-time web will destroy their readership as everyone just gets distracted by the newest shiny thing on Twitter, but the numbers show something very different. It’s so easy to spread information now that it lasts longer and finds more niches – this trend is helping content travel further.”

This means our blogs will live on longer and, truth be told, I’ve already seen this exact trend happening.  Some of my oldest entries still get many hits a day despite the fact that it is “old news” to me. No longer are blog entries just fifteen minutes of fame.  Each one should be treated as an investment to the persona you are putting out on the Internet. Plan to write entries of worth, that truly fill a spot on the Internet and aren’t just a waste of time for you (writing it) and/or (worse!) your readers’ time.

It’s highly possible you find another part of the article interesting.  Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts!

I have recently received NUMEROUS comments to approve from lovely people such as yourself.  They are on old posts where people thanked me for the information I provided on many different subjects. So… random posts shall follow in the future so as to pinpoint where my expertise really lies.  Perhaps it is in the random! If I can help a single person with something I write, the blog is a success.

Additionally I will begin work this week on my other site- College Cookbook. I’ll keep you all apprised as to how that goes and I look forward to reading feedback from you!

God bless!

I know you may desire to show it but I’d much prefer I did not know it-

So if you could and you would just stow it

away

so I don’t feel ashamed

I planned to be in bed by 12:00 am (midnight) but instead I played rockband with a couple of friends then proceeded to have a very serious and heartbreaking conversation with one of them.  It led to a very difficult decision on my part that I still can’t decide how I feel about it but know that he definitely did not like the outcome.  ::big sigh::  We live, we learn, we buy huggies.

Whoa, was that a 1990′s slogan for diapers?  Geez I’m tired.

I have a bunch of friends coming over tonight and I’m stressed.  My apartment = me.    I still have political campaign signs hung up (only the best ones!).  And now have my X-Files posters up.  Uggh.  What will they think??  It’s weird that I feel more insecure about that than the actual turn out of this party.