So I got an email from a good friend today, who normally doesn’t just forward me garbage- but sent me something that amounts to…. a forwarded email. One of those “send it back if you think I’m fantastic too!” emails. That’s fine. I rarely get them and more often than not I at least humor the individual who sent it to me and send it back to them. After all, if it only takes five seconds of my time and me forwarding back something they originally sent me to make them feel like they are special to me then I’m not going to pass up the opportunity. It’s just so easy to make them feel superficially cared for and frankly, sometimes, I’m all for lazy routes to making people love themselves and feel ‘loved’ by others. Happiness is good right? Even when it’s ignorant?
But I’ve digressed. Anyway- this friend of mine is a beautiful and enchanting lady, who I will simply refer to as Jax. Jax is a girl I had not talked to in some months but that I called after I had a nightmare yesterday where we were both in a car talking and looked forward just in time to see an old high school pal get run over by a sedan in front of our very eyes. So she sends me an email telling me I’m a beautiful woman, and as such- I should support ‘Beautiful Women Month.’
I have some preliminary thoughts-
1. Then why aren’t there more beautiful women around this time of year?
2. What’s the definition of “beautiful” they are using?
3. Do people REALLY try and celebrate this?
4. I wonder what month is Ugly Women Month or Mildly Attractive Women Month because I have some friends to send an email to when those months roll around…
5. How do you actually celebrate this holiday? Don’t beautiful women get more perks in life usually anyway? Though, honestly- I think it’ll increase my chances to nab a lady. What Woman would be insulted to receive flowers because you’re trying to celebrate “Beautiful Women Month” by telling her she’s beautiful? I’m totally getting some ass out of this one, guaranteed.
6. But in order to really benefit from what I mentioned above I need to know- What month is actually “Beautiful Women Month”? March? Or the just ended February? Or has this email been circulating the Internet since August and the idea that it is an actual Annual month-long holiday is a trick.
I’m not proud to say it, but I googled it. According to discussion topics on the subject (which I have a comment about in a minute) the month is February…. or March…. or April… or May. Apparently it is sometime in the spring, that is the only real agreement by the different discussion boards/websites on the matter. So therefore, for the next three months, you can enjoy beautiful women more than you would any other time of year, HURRAY!
Alright- my comment on the discussion board comments- REALLY???? You have nothing better to do than dispute the merits of this month? Or create websites about it??
I’m not going to lie, any woman that tries to oppose this month really is just written off as unattractive to me. Perhaps that’s unfair, but I don’t think that there is even a feminism argument to be had here. It doesn’t belittle women in any way and is, in fact, celebratory of women. So how can you oppose the month… unless you think that, as a woman, you do not fit the category. In which case- that’s not my problem.
And guys- if you were feeling left out, don’t worry we’ll create a fictional email holiday for you someday! Or maybe there already is one…. problem- Guys are much less likely to send to their guy friends emails with the title “Handsome Man Month.” Just a thought.
Anyway- from all of us here at the late night Davis Desk shift (which include me and my 6 old cup of coffee)-
HAPPY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN MONTH!!!
February 26, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Just googled Beautiful Women Month myself after receiving yet another email on the topic, and found this. Clever and witty. And yes, the month seems to go anywhere from Feb through May. I guess August, too. The Purple Hat email is appreciated and can’t be considered feminist or sexist or anti-feminist or anything else negative, except maybe a wee bit Pollyanna…until you read Erma Bombeck’s dying comments (again). They’re priceless and worth passing on to anyone you care about (with or without the hat) every time they’re received. For the value. No return required.